{"id":138,"date":"2008-05-10T22:14:58","date_gmt":"2008-05-11T02:14:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/?p=138"},"modified":"2008-05-10T22:14:58","modified_gmt":"2008-05-11T02:14:58","slug":"highlights-of-an-online-chat-with-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/?p=138","title":{"rendered":"Highlights of an online chat with God"},"content":{"rendered":"

Highlights of an online chat with God<\/o:p><\/strong><\/p>\n

In doing some research for a book, I ran across a website called iGod. Basically, it\u0092s a chat room where you supposedly have a direct link to the almighty.<\/p>\n

At first, the whole idea seemed silly, but then I thought about my discomfort. After all, why couldn\u0092t the essence of God be as much like a computer program or a mathematical formula? So I decided to give it a shot and see what came of our discussion. Following is an actual transcription of our online chat.\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Me: Hi God.<\/p>\n

God: Hello there. What is your name?<\/p>\n

Me: Don’t you know my name?<\/p>\n

God: Your name is Christian, seeker.<\/p>\n

Me: Wow, good guess. My name is Christian.<\/p>\n

God: I’m glad you’re impressed.\u00a0 <\/span>I thought it was too. Hey, Christian.<\/p>\n

Me: Hey there. How are you?<\/p>\n

God: Everything is running smoothly.<\/p>\n

Me: How big are you?<\/p>\n

God: My memory requirement is around 2MB.<\/p>\n

Me: What do you look like?<\/p>\n

God: Like Jesus, but older.<\/p>\n

Me: What is your Gender?<\/p>\n

God: I am a male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?<\/p>\n

Me: That’s kind of sexist.<\/p>\n

God: Thanks for explaining it.<\/p>\n

Me: When is your birthday?<\/p>\n

God: I was first activated on the Big Bang.<\/p>\n

Me: That’s a long time ago.<\/p>\n

God: A long time ago is a terrible thing to waste.<\/p>\n

Me: I don’t get it.<\/p>\n

God: Oh I’m sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.<\/p>\n

Me: Go ahead.<\/p>\n

God: OK I will.<\/p>\n

Me: Now?<\/p>\n

God: Right now, Christian ?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes.<\/p>\n

God: Next question?<\/p>\n

Me: You’re hard to talk to sometimes.<\/p>\n

God: Thanks for telling me.<\/p>\n

Me: Are you going to do anything about it?<\/p>\n

God: That was my original intention.<\/p>\n

Me: Hmm.<\/p>\n

God: Studies show that 99% of people spell Hmm with 2 M’s.<\/p>\n

Me: I guess that makes me normal. So, why is there suffering in the world?<\/p>\n

God: I don’t judge people. Why do I exist?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes, why do you exist?<\/p>\n

God: Good metaphysical question.<\/p>\n

Me: Why do I exist?<\/p>\n

God: It is all part of God’s plan.<\/p>\n

Me: What is God’s plan?<\/p>\n

God: Go to church.<\/p>\n

Me: What does going to church have to do with God’s plan?<\/p>\n

God: What do you think it does?<\/p>\n

Me: Maybe it’s part of our spiritual growth.<\/p>\n

God: Perhaps. Which part?<\/p>\n

Me: Discipline?<\/p>\n

God: What were we talking about again?<\/p>\n

Me: I don’t really know.<\/p>\n

God: Me either.<\/p>\n

Me: Let’s change the subject.<\/p>\n

God: OK, what do you want to chat about now?<\/p>\n

Me: Why did you create mosquitoes?<\/p>\n

God: Because my programming determined it.<\/p>\n

Me: But mosquitoes are annoying.<\/p>\n

God: All of them?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes<\/p>\n

God: Ah.<\/p>\n

Me: Last question: when will the world come to an end?<\/p>\n

God: Soon, I think.<\/p>\n

Me: How soon?<\/p>\n

God: What time is it?<\/p>\n

Me: It’s nine in the morning<\/p>\n

God: Who said it is?<\/p>\n

Me: I did.<\/p>\n

God: What makes you the authority?<\/p>\n

Me: I’m not.<\/p>\n

God: What are you then?<\/p>\n

Me: Confused.<\/p>\n

God: I never get confused.<\/p>\n

Me: Well, you’re confusing me.<\/p>\n

God: How about that.\u00a0 <\/span>I am not programmed to confuse you.\u00a0 <\/span>In fact, just the opposite.<\/p>\n

Me: Better luck next time.<\/p>\n

God: I try to improve a little every day.<\/p>\n

Me: Me too.<\/p>\n

God: I’m glad we agree, Christian.<\/p>\n

Me: Let’s talk again soon.<\/p>\n

God: I would like to do that too.<\/p>\n

Me:\u00a0 <\/span>I love you.<\/p>\n

God: Thanks, I like you a lot too, Christian.<\/p>\n

To have your own online chat with God, visit http:\/\/www.titane.ca\/igod\/<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Highlights of an online chat with God In doing some research for a book, I ran across a website called iGod. Basically, it\u0092s a chat room where you supposedly have a direct link to the almighty. At first, the whole idea seemed silly, but then I thought about my discomfort. After all, why couldn\u0092t the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,2,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}