I know I haven’t posted a spoken word piece in forever, but it looks like I have some new motivation. First off, I set up a monthly gig with a local coffeehouse to perform a combination of Jazz (with some friends of mine) and spoken word. The first event was packed, so I’m hopeful we’ll start a new cultural trand here in little old Pueblo.<\/p>\n
Second, I’ve hooked up with a literary agent who is helping me shop some of my projects to publishers. So far, the spoken word book is getting the most attention, with two or three publishers showing at least cursory interest.\u00a0 So all of htis is to say I have the necessary impetus to get on the spoken word horse again, and to kick it off, here’s one of two pieces I’ve written recently.<\/p>\n
And yes, before your write and ask, I talked to Amy baout htis one before performing it live. she understands both the humos and the core of truth in it!<\/p>\n
Late Again<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n Marriage and children have taught me Truth number one: \nTruth number two: \nNo longer controlling time’s unfolding, And no begging is stronger Twenty minutes tardy \n“Honey?” Then the dreaded pause. Back to the house for the Lovey, Yes dear: The words of a defeated man. I know I haven’t posted a spoken word piece in forever, but it looks like I have some new motivation. First off, I set up a monthly gig with a local coffeehouse to perform a combination of Jazz (with some friends of mine) and spoken word. The first event was packed, so I’m hopeful we’ll […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=63"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=63"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=63"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/christianpiatt.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=63"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nTwo truths, brought me from youth
\nTo man, shown where I stand
\nIn the master plan, which is
\nAt the back of the bus.<\/p>\n
\nLet’s face it son, the relativity of time
\nIs not some just sublime paradigm,
\nSnatched from the mind of Albert Einstein.
\nTime’s relativity hinders my proclivity
\nFor promptness.
\nYou have relatives or you have time,
\nBut never both.<\/p>\n
\nI will be late to everything,
\nEvery day of my life,
\nFrom now on until I die.
\nIt’s not that we don’t try,
\nAnd there’s always a good reason why,
\nBut traveling in a pack of three or more
\nOpens a door to a kind of late
\nYou’ve never seen before.<\/p>\n
\nThe clock’s constant clip is molding me,
\nHolding me hostage, in the form of –
\nIn no particular order \u0096
\nWet pants,
\nTime for the naked dance,
\nFingers in the makeup,
\nThirty minutes to wake up from naps,
\nA kid who craps himself,
\nThen yanks books off the shelf,
\nGoldfish crackers up the nose,
\nFingerprints on windows,
\nAnd a body that grows
\nSo pants that fit yesterday
\nNow look like leggings<\/p>\n
\nThan a wife’s will to take longer
\nGetting ready than God took
\nTo create the friggin’ universe.
\nThe inside of her purse is worse
\nThan a hazmat site.\u00a0
\nIf you need a light to find crap
\nShoved to the bottom of that
\nBlack hole you carry on your shoulder,
\nWhile I’m getting older by the minute
\nAs you dig around in it,
\nSearching for the midnight blue eye shadow,
\nJust like the kind Cameron Diaz wore
\nAt the Oscars three years before,
\nInstead of the seventeen other shades of eye shadow,
\nAll of which look exactly the same to me,
\nRight there on the shelf\u0085
\nWell, then it must be very important.
\nI’ll wait downstairs.<\/p>\n
\nTo a friend’s surprise party
\nAnd I finally have one foot out the door.
\nThen comes the voice: “Honey,”
\nDammit.
\n“Did you remember the sippy cups?”
\nBack inside, cupboards bare, no clean cups,
\nI dump out what looks like milk
\nWith green hair on it in a pooh bear cup
\nRinse it quick, fill it up again, and back to the door.<\/p>\n
\n“Yeah?”
\n“Don’t forget the Lovey.”
\nWhat the hell is a Lovey?
\nI’m afraid to ask, so I grab something
\nThat looks Lovey-ish to me,
\nAnd I’m back to the car when she looks at me
\nLike I’ve got teeth
\nGrowing out of the back of my neck.
\n“What’s that?””
\n“What?”
\n“That, in your hand. What is it?”
\n“Ummm, a Lovey?”
\nBad father trip beginning in three\u0085two\u0085one\u0085<\/p>\n
\nWhy didn’t she call it his blue blanket???
\nSmells like pee, but far be it from me to
\nCome back free of said Lovey.
\n“Honey?”
\n“WHAT?!?!?”
\n“He just threw up, all over his clothes.
\nAnd the back seat.
\nAnd most of the front seat.
\nAnd little on the dashboard.
\nAnd on the map to the party.
\nCan you grab some wet wipes and a new set of clothes?
\nOh, and you’d better print some new directions too,
\nUnless you want to try to do it from memory like last time.”
\n“Yes dear.”<\/p>\n
\nThe sound of a masculine plan emasculated by
\nThe machinations of maternal malingering
\nAnd child-borne chaos.
\nI’m not above help.
\nStep one: admit you are powerless over lateness
\nAnd that your life has become unmanageable.
\nCheck.
\n“Hi, my name is Christian, and I\u0092m late again.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"