Is life like hell without faith?
My wife, Amy, and I have been in Pueblo for nearly three years, trying to grow a new church. Had we known how hard it would be, we might have opted for an existing ministry. Starting a new church is one of the most emotionally volatile experiences we can imagine.
Its easy to get hung up on the number of people who show up on any given Sunday. Its hard not to take it personally when someone says they will come, and then they dont. That, or they come once every few months and consider themselves regulars. Both of these scenarios happen all of the time.
Weve heard nearly every excuse for not coming to church that could be imagined, to the point that we dont hear them anymore. We believe we have something to share thats worth peoples time, but we cant make them do anything.
Some people said they really wanted to come, but that meeting in our home where we originally began was too intimate for them. When we moved to the college they still didnt come. Some who felt the CSU-Pueblo campus was too far away hedged. Were now located on the southwest side of town, and they still dont come. Dozens of people said theyd come if we had services in the morning, so last week we had our first morning worship. None of the new people came.
Why should they, after all?
Theres a growing perception that faith can happen in a vacuum, that we dont need community to nurture our connection with God. As Amy said in a recent sermon, many people find their spiritual nourishment on a mountaintop, in a book or by the ocean. While these things are useful and perhaps even inspiring, when you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on, a book is no consolation.
No matter how much you love the divine creation of the outdoors, a mountain just cant love you back.
Author Anne Lamott concedes that she makes her 14-year-old son go to church. She says its one of the only places she knows of where he can see people loving God back.
We learn about our spiritual ancestry by learning from the wisdom of others. We understand compassion and humility by seeing it modeled. We cant learn the value of a community of faith if were so isolated that we never take the risk of sharing what we believe.
Church can really suck. Ive been hurt by church, as have many people, but this is no excuse for walking away. We dont abandon our families simply because we have hard times, do we? Do we quit our job every time we experience conflict? Maybe some people do both of these, but its a sign of ones character to see how they respond to hardship. Do you withdraw, or do you allow yourself to be vulnerable?
No one has to go to church, though some churches are based upon the very opposite precept. Somehow they have a corner on salvation, and without them, youre outside the circle. Lamotts response: Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell, and faith is for people who have been there.
Fear is a terrible reason to go to church. As Lamott says, weve all been through hell, in one form or another. Still, we feel like we shouldnt burden other people with our problems. In an increasingly do-it-yourself society, a communal approach to healing is hard to comprehend, let alone embrace. Its risky, scary and will demand more from us than sitting on our butts, thinking up reasons not to go.
Church isnt about getting a weekly dose of religion. Its about realizing faith by living it together. Youve been through enough. Its time to stop thinking of reasons why you dont deserve to be loved, for Gods sake.